-

- You all crazy!

- Why are we crazy?

- Because you don't know how to stay alive and that's the secret of life.                   

- But we have a war to win.

- But America will lose the war. Italy will win it.

- America's the strongest nation on earth. The American fighting man is the best trained, the best equipped, the best fed...

- Exactly. Italy, on the other hand, is one of the weakest nations on earth and the ltalian fighting man is hardly equipped at all. That's why my country is doing so well while yours is doing so poorly.

- That's just silly! First ltaly was occupied by Germans and now by us. You call that doing well?

- Of course I do. The Germans are being driven out and we are still here. In a few years, you'll be gone and we'll still be here. You see, Italy is a very poor, weak country yet that is what makes us so strong, strong enough to survive this war and still be in existence long after your country has been destroyed.

- What are you talking about? America's not going to be destroyed.

- Never?

- Well...

- Rome was destroyed. Greece was destroyed. Persia was destroyed. Spain was destroyed. All great countries are destroyed. Why not yours? How much longer do you think your country will last? Forever?

- Forever is a long time, I guess.

- Very long.

- Please, we're talking.

- We go to bed now?

- No. Would you go put some clothes on? You're practically naked. I wish she wouldn't walk around like that.

- It is her business to walk around like that.

- But it's not nice.

- Of course it's nice. She's nice to look at. 

- This life is not nice. I don't want her to do this.

- When we go to America, Nately?

- When we go to America, Nately?

- You will take her to America? Away from a healthy, active life? Away from good business opportunities? Away from her friends?

- Don't you have any principles?

- Of course not.

- No morality?

- I'm a very moral man. And ltaly is a very moral country. That's why we will certainly come out on top again if we succeed in being defeated.

- You talk like a madman.

- But I live like a sane one. I was a Fascist when Mussolini was on top. Now that he has been deposed, I am anti-Fascist. When the Germans were here, I was fanatically pro-German. Now I'm fanatically pro-America! You'll find no more loyal partisan in all of ltaly than myself.

- You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

- You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.

- How do you know?

- Because I am 107 years old. How old are you?

- I'll be 20 in January.

- If you live.

(Source: hipsterlibertarian, via tumblrisforlulz)